The period between January 1 and December 31 takes on a whole new meaning for me this year. My son was born on January 1st, so this entire year has felt much like an initiation into motherhood.
It's no secret this year has been one of transition and sacrifice.
While I feel deeply about becoming a mother and all that that entails, I don’t feel ready or prepared to be able to describe in words how it has transformed me and my perspective on the world. Luckily for me, I have the symbolic language of astrology to help me express myself.
I went through many transits this year that point to change… Uranus and the North Node in Taurus close to my IC, Eclipses in my 4th/10th houses (way too close to my Scorpio Moon for comfort), Saturn joining my Sun in Aquarius then going retrograde to name just a few.
But what I find most powerful looking back, and the transit that has carried the biggest weight, is my progressed Sun finally moved into Aries after 30 years in Pisces.
(If you're not familiar with what Progressions are in Astrology, no worries! It's an ancient timing technique that is symbolic and helps interpret the maturation of your natal chart.)
It's so symbolically poetic that in my final year as a Progressed Sun in Pisces I was literally birthing a new life. Pisces is the final sign of the zodiac, the transition from this life to the next. It's as if becoming a mother has been a masterclass in all the lessons I’ve been served with over the past 30 years with a progressed Pisces Sun. My final assignment.
These lessons like learning to surrender… that control is in fact an illusion. Lessons like how to deepen my connection to the mysteries of life and have a relationship with the spiritual realms. Lessons like how to set boundaries, the power of devotion, how to trust myself and my faith (especially when it's tested!), and most importantly, the ability to know and trust my instincts and intuition.
All of these lessons I would tell you I knew... Sure, I know how important boundaries are. I know that going with the flow is the easiest route. I know I SHOULD trust my instincts... but do I? Intellectually understanding these lessons is one thing, but putting them into practice is another.
Motherhood has forced me to dance with them daily, in the most mundane aspects of my life. Putting them into practice has allowed me to feel what they feel like in my body, bringing them even more into my tangible reality.
By truly embracing these lessons, what I’ve come to learn is the insecurities or self consciousness I have been carrying is directly linked to a lack of confidence in my ability to handle the unknown. The anxiety I held due to fears of what it would be like to surrender control.
Pisces is the unknown. It’s the mysteries. It knows no beginning or end because it’s all of it. Understanding that the unknown doesn’t necessarily equal unsafe has been a big lesson. I don’t need to escape or find a distraction in order to handle uncomfortable situations, the unexpected or unknown. I don’t need to control a situation or a person so they like me or see me the way I want them to see me. I can be present in my truth and allow others the same experience.
The way the water flows is the way I want to be going.
The process of growing and birthing a human has been the most empowering and challenging journey of my life. It has given me extreme faith and trust in my body. It has shown me the power of surrendering to the moment and the magic that happens when you release control.
It has redefined what I think a woman is and all that she can be. Embodying your Divine feminine energy is about tapping into the eternal source of the universe to co-create what flows to and through you. It's trusting your intuition and your body as if they were the source of creation (hint, they are).
Being in touch with your feminine power is simply understanding you have it all within you. You can do it. You are the universe experiencing itself. As Rumi says in this very Pisces poem...
"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop."
As my final days as a Progressed Sun in Pisces are over, I embrace the fire of Aries. I look forward to exploring this masculine, energetic, ambitious and somewhat impulsive energy that comes with the Ram. I look forward to learning lessons around asking for what I want, putting myself first, and chasing the spark of creativity even if I have no idea where it will lead.
It seems fitting then that my motto for the past couple of years has been...
"When nothing is certain, anything is possible..." ✨
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